This was in August of 2008 when I was in San Diego to visit Katie, my friend & roommate from SLC, with Mr. Boy & HeRoos.
This time it was just the girls. Katie and I had a great time! It was fun catching up and having good conversation. I ate my way through San Diego- sushi, In-N-Out, Thai, fish tacos and Godiva Chocolate. Hanging out on the beach, watching chick flicks, eating good food, reading, relaxing, and shopping are good for the soul.
HeRoos is AMAZING and completely encouraged me to have a good time while he took care of the kiddos. They love hanging with their daddy and as you can tell from the picture below, he even dressed them well. It looks like the three of them are ready for a photo shoot with their matching outfits. This picture was my candy- I couldn't get enough while I was away. I love my gang-they're pure trouble and so irresistible!
Beware: Deep thoughts by SheRoos.
I've found that finding balance with motherhood and the person I was before children is more challenging than I imagined. There are parts of the old me "on hold" while I try to do my best as a mom. I do miss hanging out with my good friends, traveling, having a career, and having time to read & relax. I was single for 30 years. Then came marriage (which is much easier and more fun than I imagined) and 2 kids within 3 years. There was not an adjustment period so now I'm trying to figure out how to balance it all without losing who I am (or was). I'm not sure if any of this makes sense to anyone else. Basically, being a mom is hard work yet I wouldn't trade it for anything. I absolutely adore and love my kids. I just really want to enjoy it more and have more energy. I'm also thinking that it may be time for me to take a class- photography, sewing, aerobics or something to force me to get out of the house and work on SheRoos. I think that it's important for me to figure out how to take care of myself so I can be the best mom and wife possible. HeRoos and I also agree that it's super important for us to put God first then each other, then our kids. If we put our kids before our relationship than our marriage could suffer and then inevitably our kids suffer. I think to have a happy & fulfilling life it takes effort and a lot of trial and error. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. So, on that note, I think I better end my deep thoughts and give my hunk-of-burning-love husband some attention instead of staring at the computer. Sweet dreams to my friends in cyber space!
12 comments:
What a kind (and brave) husband to give you a chance for a girls weekend.
Jennie, I couldn't agree with you more. Motherhood is a blessing. Period. With that said, motherhood also can be so consuming that we forget who we are individually. Happiness is found in a delicate balance. I've found myself thinking the same thing and priorities are key. I'm working on it every day and it is tough! Well said Jennie. Love you lots! Glad you got some girl time.
There is a time and a season for everything in life. Some days I wish I was doing other things than being elbow deep in diapers. But then I think "someday I'm going to wish my kids need me like they did as babies". So then I just try to enjoy the ride.
So jealous! Glad you and Katie had a good time. Oh man, I love Extraordinary Desserts that place is yummy. Glad you got a weekend of fun!
Shawn has been good to let me get away at times too. It has been really good for me, and I come back a much better wife and mom. If is true that you have to nourish your self and your relationship with your hubby in order to be a good Mom. I love my mother dearly, but I see that in raising her 5 kids, she lost who she was, and now she finds life very difficult, and lonely -even with my dad around. I don't want to do that when I reach that point. I still want to be someone - not just Mom. Great thoughts
Your Inner Self has her priorities right. I think it helps that you married late and are more secure with who you are and in what to believe in. Good stuff, SheRoos.
BTW, love San Diego, my home for 35years!
You were very smart (and lucky) to have a break and get away for some fun and r and r. Motherhood is awesome, but you never leave your "job". Sometimes I have to remind myself that I need it's okay to have me time. You are figuring it out a lot a earlier than I did! I can FULLY relate!
I can totally relate to the whole "finding balance" thing. It's a big adjustment! And San Diego? My favorite place!!! I think I even recognize the outdoor mall (outlets?) you are standing in, if it's in Carlsbad. I dream about going there again someday. :) I'm going on my first "girls only" trip next weekend...to Denver. Wish me luck!!
I am so glad you got to play in the sun!! I struggle with the same struggles you mentioned. I wouldn't trade it (motherhood) for anything either, but its hard to find 'yourself' or sometimes know what that is after being a mom. Good for you for taking time out to go have some "you" time, & thumbs up for Heroos watching the kids.
So so so glad you came! Did we really spend 5 hours at one mall?? Cri-zay-zee! Always love my Jennie time :) Thanks HeRoos for encouraging your wife to have fun and take the weekend!
Ditto on your deep thoughts, woman. It is a daily battle/balance every Mom faces and a lot of times the scale gets tipped away from taking care of our "old selves". They are still in there somewhere screaming to get out! Good for you to let yourself get away and good job picking a husband that supports you!
Well stated Jenny! Motherhood is the greatest job you will ever have. But it also can be the most difficult. At the stage your little family is at, You, the mom, must be truly unselfish and you are called upon to give, give, and give some more of yourself. ANd that is not all bad, but... most times we forget to give back to ourselves. We just have to regroup sometimes. Great that you are smart enough to recognize it.
Unfortunately, just about the time you get into the groove - life changes and you are on to the next 'adventure'. Like empty nesters!!! Just keep talking - we women are a great group to give advice, whether you want it or not!!!!
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